Mantra Train

My past is my future

28th of September in my calendar is marked by humble anniversary of departure to Irishland. Another yearly cycle came to close, since getting out from midnight flight from Brussels 9 years ago… Where did the time go? - there’s no way to avoid that question… And as much I wouldn’t like it to be - it is indeed, only rhetorical cliche type of dilemma…

Few years ago, charm of that day ultimately got ruined by acknowledgement of the fact, that my life here does not flow on just one simple timeline. I’m aware that it may not be just the case of “my” life “here”, but that’s the only life I know.
I used to refer to all my “adventures” as to “chapters”. But lately it’s more difficult to distinguish individual ones. From so called at the time “novel”, my life turned in to booklet of aggregated random short stories, or poems… Maybe my current aims, commitments and priorities, shaped mantra chanted far from reasonable judgements - so comfortable back then. Worst case scenario - my life as collection of witty sentences on the wall of public toilet. In fact, lately I’m experiencing renaissance of that form of expression. (more details on that soon)

I am happy here. If you know me in person, forget what I say on daily basis! Somehow, it helps me to accept things I can’t accept otherwise.
Guess what! I’m getting older! Same way as my family and friends all over the world. I’m not so certain however if we are all progressing with life cycle in the same speed. Most of people I left behind seem to get and grow old in other directions than people around me. I’m not so sure how to explain this. Wild guess makes me believe that as they continuously tell me less and less about what their lives, I automatically draw synthesis of projections and by depreciation of admiration I keep on empowering my own foundations, so to say that my own life is so much better…

Confusing thing about leaving people behind is that I will never know what aspects of their life I shall never experience and what is the real value of what I have traded it for. My origin becomes stranger and more difficult to grasp, year after year. Denial kicked in early. Mainly to avoid things I gladly left behind.

Its bizarre how inconsistent I was in terms of my own believes, aims, dogmas in this journey. I would really enjoy conversation/argument with self 5 years ago. Where would I start? What would I have in common? Would I warn myself against anything? But ten, I don’t regret anything. All the bad or wrong things were well deserved and made me as they say - stronger. So many things happened. There was so much to experience. No wonder my hair’s turning grey…

On the day of this anniversary, I can’t come up with anything worth concluding. Life goes on as it used to. Above all its also 10th anniversary of the year prior to my departure :), 12th anniversary of my graduation from high school and 1st of my trip to Kiritimati and so on and so on…
That way, everything is everything depending on the reference point in all that chaos of course.
My past is at the same time is fading away. Disappearing. Important places are being moved or demolished. People change.

Few months ago I looked in to my email archives to find all emails from the last 10 years. Emails strangely are not getting old and there is no way of knowing how irrelevant they might be now. I realised that if there is so little to distinguish, it’s exactly like diving in to the future. Predictable, because once lived already. Still experienced as new, attached to specific emotional reactions. Is there a big gap between spontaneous reaction of the moment and digested awareness of self at given moment? if so, does it exists as past already? I felt desire to rewrite my correspondence in the format of semi-fictional semi-journals and publish them on the blog, but did abandoned the project shortly as idea to let the past go is much stronger. Above all it’s more reasonable according rules of sanity I live by. It might be an idea to get to it in say 40 years from now. Its questionable if it would it be of interest to anyone.

Humor as the weapon

Some new to me concepts about Storytelling, Humor and Politics emerged from interesting interview with Dylan Brody hosted on Office Hours Podcast, few weeks ago. I decided to take some notes which I publish below for myself but for benefit of others. As much as I respect Dylan’s opinions and work in general, I would like to add some points from my view point. I encourage to listen to entire interview available at this link.

Modern comedy from its early boom in 80’s and 90’s once gained broad access over the cable television, due to the viewers demand, shaped it’s  structure in the way that performer expected to get a laughs every 15 seconds. Comedy scene was led by Jerry Seinfeld-style ranters. Performers of that sort tend to overkill the monologues about anarchy of non-matching socks from the dryer till present day.

Scene of live performed comedy is highly diversified. Especially in some countries where humor was shaped by harsh politics and social norms. If that’s not the case generally comics become very generic.

The reason for unification was caused directly by the appearance of “new” transmitting medium. The aim was to reach the widest audience.

This indention of generic approach and generic response should be stopped as we already see nearly all forms of staged entertainment embracing this scheme as if all viewers would have tediously short attention span and ability to focus would be threatened by ability to fast forward, skip to another channel for sake of “flipping it”.

Furthermore, storytelling explains how do we embrace to our social system and how we interact with other people. Guideline for true value of any show seem to be defined by truly surreal principles. Explaining on the example of shaping the persona of the main character: What are the guidelines of modern logic when determining leading-hero? Common tricks include first appearance in the sequence of the story unfolding (he is the first person we see).

Lately it is the one “who holds the biggest gun”, but most of all - hero is the one who is on the screen the most. It is a troubling idea as trough the history as stories since always tell us how to be heroes. Entire purpose of storytelling was to improve our ability to teach us how to behave better as people. As the entertainment industry takes over the world of art, we loose the responsibility for what is being said. Therefore: “Entertainment is the word used by people who don’t want to take the responsibility for their art.” when comedy became part of entertainment and stopped being smart, cutting edge and witty pushing art form, it lost what it grown to be. Storytelling by placement of anchors such as developed personality, background, images, language, empathy - teller can use this medium to make proper social cometary. Teaching how to behave as the hero.

Concept of implementation of comedy in to politics is based on the principle that audience presented with a joke based on serious matter and by enthusiastic reaction, different from the usual is easily thrown to new concept of word association, shift of values (once some were ridiculed using humor). Certainly B. Obama is the great example for it. Application of this method ranges from diversion of importance (military action, use of drones) to mentioned earlier “shift of values” (justification and argumentation by funny, show-man like “hello everybody!” statements).

Even more obvious example for use of humor in NLP sits in the theme of racism. This particular is being exercised for many years in case of Jews, Negros, and so on… I can’t think of making anyone to hate or disrespect member of different race or nation by telling a joke based on real-life situation… In the same way how laugh makes us smile and eventually laugh as well, we are then forced to submit to presented upon us ideology.

Mixtape #001

Presenting first (#001) SOUNDTRACK OF MY LIFE selection from the most favorable music pieces found under CC license. I hope to release similar mixes few times per week and to host them using 8track service. Artists featured in #001:

• The Apartment
• Dan Deacon
• Cooper-Moore
• Los Amparito
• Mela Zeta
• Zach Hill
• Boy and The Echo Choir

Floating and looping in Venice

As a little boy, I remember watching one day, this this fascinating documentary about city of Venice. Beside visual aspects, I memorized idea of never being able to travel there, as it’s supposed to be sinking very soon. (I learned by now, that such estimations usually don’t hold any truth…) In late 2009, I realized my forgotten by then dream, to see it with own eyes. Unlike any other location to date,  city consisted in a labyrinth of streets, which in their own bizarre nature, I found impossible to hold even the slightest sense of direction. When maneuvering between those narrow alleys, I figured that trying to keep focus on general direction, by looking at moon or sun, would be the only reasonable way to remain on track. Well… Streets were tight enough for this method to fail. All I was left with, was enjoyable ghost-like looping for hours.

My journey was initiated for purpose of art-related exploration. This were in fact the last days of Biennale ‘09. Having this as the main objective - both time and space collided in to even more bizarre state. Permanent feeling of being in wrong time and wrong place was always with me. It wasn’t uncomfortable however. Its hard to imagine how city tastes like when pavilions are closed. I have no idea.

I cant remember how I got from the airport. Air-coach ride took an hour or two. Bus departed at the steps of what I call “transition bridge”. Structure created kind of a boarder between reality familiar and not. On the other side, as one can imagine cars were replaced with boats and gondolas. There were no bikes, nor motorcycles. I began my journey trough narrow streets and tiny bridges in search for accommodation, new friends and amazing art pieces.

Dark and gloomy days made the city less interesting to tourists, therefore majority of still existing crown was Italian-speaking. After few hours of not being able to engage with anybody, I moved on ignoring the crowd completely. Hours later, when finally finding main pavilion campus, pretending to be a radio student, I managed to get few interviews and to chat with authors who arrived for last 3 days of Biennale to collect their pieces.

Nightlife in Venice is dominated to such venues as restaurants and coffee shops. People seem to meet beforehand and again… are difficult to engage with.  Few pubs located usually on the squares have luckily made it not only possible, but also easy.

Spirit of Venice by night blessed me with unusual nest within unlocked boat parked on the canal. I used warm blankets stored in the press. Vessel I was in, during the day served as water taxi, but still - it was cozy and welcoming. Night went by beautifully in the accompaniment of lucid dreams. Following nights were much more conventional. I was fortunate to locate two reasonable hotels by the “transition bridge”, called “Basin”. It was managed by Indian people represented by shrunken like a plum old but vibrant old lady behind the counter.
Apparently the only “available” room at that time, could easily be called “broom closet”. Definitely the tiniest room in the city. I missed my taxi boat from night before. for the following night, I was transfered to much more spacious room.

Venice hosts number of permanent expositions and museums. My favorite was definitely Guggenheim museum, located on Venice’s Grand Canal, is one of Europe’s premier museums devoted to modern art. With masterpieces ranging in style from Cubism and Surrealism to Abstract Expressionism, the collection has become one of the most respected and visited cultural attractions in Venice. Well informed, educated and personal - in this particular case - tour guide, explained story of this particular establishment and pieces within it.

Just when you get familiar with the spectacles of  “Mainland” - on the other side of canal, Island calld “Murano” invites to see it’s charms.

Population of about 5000 people live mainly from glass-making related activities. Streets and canals were full of various galleries and shops presenting most radiculaous designs and inventional conceptsin glass blowing craft. On the back street barracks, Muranians dance with metal pipes around furneses making the most surreal pieces.

Most of them were quite ugly. Overloaded with color and ornaments. Surely - products for main stream. The most amazing concepts were displayed at the Biennale itself. Surprisingly arranged on the open space - in front of some pavilions.

MT Radio: People on the move

Welcome to the first on this audio feed episode featuring voxpop conducted on the streets on Dublin in the middle of January 2011. Idea for this episode came up when upon my daily news search I came across this study:

Some 50,000 people will emigrate this year, and 25,000 jobs will be lost, according to the latest economic forecast from the Economic and Social Research Institute. However, the ESRI says the economy is set to grow by 1.5% this year, with exports increasing by 6%.

I decided to grab newly acquired microphone and hit the streets with it. I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did recording this material. People were very kind and it feels like they were looking for opportunity to speak out. If only my time schedule will allow, I shall continue this practice more often. If you wish to take an active part in this radio project, please send your audio comment/segment in to following address, (or share your Drop Boxspace with mantratrain at gmail com) CREDITS: In this episodes following songs were used (all on the Creative Commons license):

• Bird Show by Quintet Four
• Hazim by L’oniraunote
• Ling, Ting, Tong by The Five Keys (Mafia II Soundtrack)
• I Put A Spell on You by (Screaming) Jalacy Hawkins
• Forward by Northbound

Also :

• Irish Immigrants in Boston
• Cover art by Woyteac (Mantra Train)
• Photo: “Galway team arriving in NY”, author unknown

Year Ends Here

As the year is about to close - trough forced on self humbility - I dare to be thankful for year another to begin. [cliche alert] We take so many things for granted those days. Even THIS very statement. I will remember 2010 as the first and/or last year used to learn that sometimes it really takes time to stand back up after even minor collapse. As Ireland continues to go under the next set of expectations, I feel like doing same thing with my life. (I’m very much in favor of using that as an excuse). I’m naturally denying several areas of my previously comfortable identity - which I no longer consider to be of any value as they continue to fail me miserably. Eventually it’s all for better. Why not to call it… adaptation ? :) In 2011, I will continue my quest on searching for new heroes. Personalities which open new avenues of my life. Hoping to benefit from their legacy of simple ideas to match my personal urges. Fulfill gaps after difficult questions I have no longer answers for.“What ever happened to the heroes?” Yes, indeed, I seem to adjust myself to new conditions and realities. I just hope not to loose sense of genuine directions, I originally established as primary. It’s so easy to be inconsistent. Peculiar thing about human beings I guess… This textual masturbation would not be complete, without objectivity about what really happened in 2010. Well, sadly, it’s risky to put all hopes on one card. In to one basket. Documentary film which was meant to stand as my personal highlight for 2010, failed my expectations badly. I recently decided to quit the project. Project mind you. Not the material and experiences I have earned. Lastly, I need to confess how rewarding this blogging activity is. Funny, to be so late in to this game. No one seem to read anymore anything on the net. Yet I’m spending my efforts on this venue feeling tingly sense of mysterious self accomplishment… I really wonder what Mantra Train will become by the end of 2011. How big will it grow. First days of March will signify first year anniversary. Well, well, well… Thanks for reading this. I wish you all the best moments in 2011.

Profemateours

Years ago, term amateur used to describe person passionate about something. Motivated to do things for sake of doing. For wanting, for passion, for idea rather than money. On the end I believe it’s money that draws the line not just to describe those two cases, but also to shape targets of each.

I’m assuming that possible dropage of creativity caused by routine and things forced upon creator by pipeline are making inventions, art and everything else, simply dull, non interesting and static in terms of progress of particular industry.

Often in the professional field, you are more likely to be expected to follow known and safe paths.

Professional is less likely to experiment as much as the amateur can.

If he does and fails being exposed to the public - his career might be ruined, as expectations are quite different. Pro will more likely stick to his ways of doing things - safe.

Audience is more likely to forgive amateurs in case of failure. It’s important to acknowledge that appreciation shifts way beyond -pro- in case of succeeding with outstanding results.

It’s simply because community will easier identify with creator knowing that only pure passion and freedom of doing whatever doer is doing differences himself from them. They will appreciate immediately whatever blessed factor could it be.

It’s ain’t pretty

For the last few weeks, it feels like living in the center of the universe which is heading toward an eye of black hole. I’m “fortunate” to be affected by all the bad vibes everyday, as I walk next to the most relevant for this story government buildings. These, are constantly surrounded by news media crews, waiting to obtain coverage of the first symptoms of collapsing Republic (and potentially beginning of the end of EU).

Wherever I look, the area consists in countless and over-saturated sociological and economical contrasts. There are (still) wealthy/snob business man, passing countless beggars. Often valuable, but less fortunate than them people. Fancy sport cars and limos are forcing barely moving rusty micras and puntos on the cluttered and littered road.

As I move on, with the trained over time immunity to those sights, I can smell certainly most superb cigars, but all I see is a dirty old man picking unfinished cigarette butts and consuming them as the most precious treats. Finally - homeless people trying to sleep at the steps of emptied monumental Victorian houses, which used to host companies back in the good times.

All this ain’t good to look at. Having to see those contrasts makes me feel very uncertain about my own future, common wealth and country’s prosperity in general…

Why do I care? On the end I have no roots in this country. I can leave this place whenever I want… Why do I have to even deal with this sinking ship? Truth to the matter is, that it has been over 7 years now and at this stage, I don’t really know whats my identity and where my real home is. There is indeed a need within me, to define self, with things I know, make an impact on me and make me feel about stuff in particular way. Good way, which I miss so much. Comfort zone. Sense of secure future I can focus my life on.

Recent decisions made my the Minister of Finance and Prime Minister, made me feel they don’t want me here. Not just me. No one is welcome really. For now, this are just words, scary ones. They spark the imagination of spoiled minds that got used live with so much more comfort and arrogance toward areas of life they wouldn’t want to care about. It’s gonna be tough, that’s for sure…

Upcoming budget plan includes:

:: Cutting the minimum wage one euro to 7.65;
:: Increasing VAT by 1% to 22% in 2013 and to 23% in 2014;
:: Keeping corporation tax at 12.5%;
:: Cutting the public sector workforce by 24,750, bringing levels back to 2005 levels;
:: Increasing student fees:
:: Bringing in water metering by 2014;
:: Doubling carbon tax charges 30 euro a tonne, raising 330 million euros;
:: Cutting social welfare by £2.5bn

(source)

It’s a mystery how the legendary tolerance toward foreigners could change over the next few months. Many people have said that all the foreigners perform tasks that Irish wouldn’t even consider of doing. Now it may change as the boundaries describing “good job” - are changing.

Interestingly enough, an image assigned to Irish, as the nation of rebels, people who do care and will fight for whatever they think is wort fighting for. It’s surely only a stereotype today. Irish for the most part have turned in to the bunch of lazy sissies spoiled by banal activities and gadgets.

On the 27th November 2010, I joined 50,000 crowd of people who came out to show their disapproval to government’s decisions. Sadly most of conversations I could hear around, did not indicate any concerns I could expect. This weren’t voices of seriousness and importance. There was practically no anger, nor grief to be found. What I could hear however, were countless jokes and film references (as the one in the short clip above: “Down with that sort of thing! ; Careful now!” - Ref. from “Father Ted”, or “Rabble, rabble, rabble” - Ref. from “Southpark”).

Ireland is being sold once more and there is less of it than I remember seeing ever. Republic is now becoming truly franchised. Changed for change. Poisoned with consumerism that took over identity and any other deeper meanings.

Mad about coconut trees

News from the border

photo source: Cosmodaddy